Most people know that having friends adds spice to life. Do you know how to make friends? Do you know how to keep them?
Experiences with friends add value to life. |
Everyone knows that kids and teens have suffered quite a bit during the pandemic. You have lost days of school and plenty of social experiences, not to mention family and economic hardships that you have had to endure on top of that.
In an online interview in March, Laura Offutt, MD talked about some of these challenges. She pointed out the magnitude of the loss of socialization among teens because resilience--the exact skill that is required to survive challenging times such as these--is built on social experiences.
One thing that I do want people to really think about is that resilience is not just an individual activity. So while it's absolutely true that overcoming hardship and coming through traumatic times is something that builds your resiliency bank, resilience is also contributed to by the social supports that are around our adolescents.
Although it is difficult to gather with others amid all of the restrictions and the ongoing danger of a rampant virus, it is important to continue building social connections in other ways that will last beyond the pandemic.
Here are some suggestions for making and keeping friends that will help you increase your resilience.
- Make time. Sure, you're busy. But it might be time to prioritize. Do you really think binge-watching Netflix is more important than spending time with friends? You could call someone on the phone. You could Facetime. You could meet someone outside to bask in the sun and have an actual conversation about life. Get in the habit of making time now while things are slow. And don't let those priorities shift once things start opening up again.
- Build trust. Opening up about yourself is a great way to build trust with other people. Sometimes you have to be the one to have the courage to do it first, as difficult as that can be. Think of it as an opportunity to practice being the great leader you know you are going to be someday. It will be worth it.
- Treat individuals like a VIP. Once you are in the presence of another human being, make sure that you are focused on them. Your attention is what makes others feel important. Forget yourself until you get back to your alone time. If the other person thinks you like them best out of everyone, it will only strengthen your bond with them.
- Be optimistic. No one likes to be around a downer. Make sure you always look for something good to say--whether it is about other people, about yourself, or about what is going on in the world. Even if other people are the ones that started the negativity, be the one to stop it. The world does not need more misery. Everyone ultimately wants to feel happier and uplifted, and it could start with you!
- Communicate. You may think you are communicating when speak. But speaking isn't necessary communicating. You have to make sure that what you are saying makes sense and has meaning for the other person. This goes back to numbers two, three, and four. Focus on the other person and speak up!
| Do something to build your resilience today! |
Friendships aren't just crucial to your health and well-being right now. The experiences that you have with friends and in other relationships will help you build skills for navigating future ones. This is how relationships build your resilience over the course of your lifetime.